No one is Flawless

I don't think I've been this upset in a long time, I've been completely betrayed. Twice this month. By the same person. It hurts and I'm just kinda letting it happen without any consequences.

Wow...ha I guess this writing stuff down works because I need to take action and make consequences so it won't happen again. No one is allowed to walk all over me and be hypocritic and have double standards when it comes to me.

Gay...now I gotta think of some stuff to do so that it doesnt happen again. Humph.

So it's true: Being without Being is blue.

On the coast of somewhere beautiful. It sounds nice, if we dismiss the oil crisis. But still, it's somewhere I'd like to be. This thought makes me think of honeymoons, my honeymoon to be exact. Which makes me think of my wedding. May it be weird but I think about that alot, not because I exactly know who or when or anything like that, it just happens that things keep happening to make me think about it. I imagine alot of nature influences like flowers, grass, moss, trees. Though I can't exactly say I want it to be outside. But if it is, it would be in the spring and I wouldnt wear shoes. I would sink my feet into the cool, soft grass....

I can't wait till I get to go on my road trip! I don't know exactly where I'm going but I know it will include museums about Oklahoma's rich Native American history and it will be where the Indians roamed and hunted and lived a life of freedom, harmony, no guilt, and when everything that was taken was givin back and resourses were treasured and people's lives and traditions were valued...

Next year I am taking Native American history for a semester, I don't think I've ever been this excited to take a class that is belittled by so many students. Oh well, at least it will be one more thing I love :) Time to record stuff, enjoy.

In Australia, swimsuits are known as “cossies.” In the UK and Ireland, they are called “togs"

I like this summer alot. It's nice. But I sorta miss my old summers. When I went to camp and got to read all of the time and not get on the computer twenty four seven. And I had alot less on my plate back then. For example: a boyfriend, a job, chores, facebook, babysitting, a car, harder decisions. Don't get me wrong, I like having all this stuff, it's just alot to deal with.
But enough about me, I know thats not what your here for.
So in about 20 minutes, I will start reading the rest of Tempted. Before that I will get on a website that will tell me what I need to do after I read The Scarlett Letter. If you're in AP English next year, I suggest you do the same. Enjoy.

No Specific Pattern, Purpose, or Objective

Step One: Look behind you. Do you see anything you like? If not, get over it. Thats why its behind you. But if so, good.

Step Two: Look in front of you. Do you see anything at all? If not, you might want to work on that. But if so, make sure its worth looking at.

Step Three: Make a calm realization that you are who you are. And if you don't like it, you Always have to ability to change it.


Times are coming to end. What kind of end? The End.

Brand New

More is on the way, I need to update bad. Because everything has changed :)

gone...

I am now living in an out of body expirience. I dont know where I am, or who I have turned into. There are alot of reasons that could cause this. 1. I am dating a boy that I cannot leave. He loves me. I like him in my mind but my heart will not accept that God allowed me to have such a wonderful person to call mine. He cannot rightfully belong to me, I'm not good enough. 2. I am realizing my heart and mind are just going on as they are used to. They wont let me be different. I hate it. 3. Well I don't know, but thats okay Iguess.

first timer

So this is it, the firt post. The first of a long or very short session of me writing what I want to get off my chest but I am unable to. Of course, nothing here is to be read. It's private, top secret, very confidential. I know, I know, blogs are to be read, but maybe you can just forget that for now, because this is an exception. My exception. I seem to have alot lately. And its getting worse. I'm even having a sense of lonliness among everything that is happening around me. I'm getting all this attention by these people but it doesnt sink in. Its not enough. I'm not looking for it, nor do i exactly want it, but I just feel like I can't talk to anyone about anything. I don't even want to. Troubling other people with my problems is so out of the question, it annoys me to all ends. Especially if I have already been begged to say it once, I'm not going to say it again.
Oops, its time to go. So, I'll be back, I promise. Not that it matters either way haha