gone...

I am now living in an out of body expirience. I dont know where I am, or who I have turned into. There are alot of reasons that could cause this. 1. I am dating a boy that I cannot leave. He loves me. I like him in my mind but my heart will not accept that God allowed me to have such a wonderful person to call mine. He cannot rightfully belong to me, I'm not good enough. 2. I am realizing my heart and mind are just going on as they are used to. They wont let me be different. I hate it. 3. Well I don't know, but thats okay Iguess.

first timer

So this is it, the firt post. The first of a long or very short session of me writing what I want to get off my chest but I am unable to. Of course, nothing here is to be read. It's private, top secret, very confidential. I know, I know, blogs are to be read, but maybe you can just forget that for now, because this is an exception. My exception. I seem to have alot lately. And its getting worse. I'm even having a sense of lonliness among everything that is happening around me. I'm getting all this attention by these people but it doesnt sink in. Its not enough. I'm not looking for it, nor do i exactly want it, but I just feel like I can't talk to anyone about anything. I don't even want to. Troubling other people with my problems is so out of the question, it annoys me to all ends. Especially if I have already been begged to say it once, I'm not going to say it again.
Oops, its time to go. So, I'll be back, I promise. Not that it matters either way haha